i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
