it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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