Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
