I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize