At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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