u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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