My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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