i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
