My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
