just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
