then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
