My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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