birth control should be required to get into college
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
