chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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