He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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