i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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