I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize