Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
