Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
