Sacagawea was the original milf.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
