Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize