His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
