he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
