Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
