be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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