im having a threesome with these popsicles
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
