you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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