Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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