Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize