Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
