I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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