yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
handjob tips. give me some.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
