This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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