I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
