The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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