Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
