Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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