Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she peed on how many people?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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