I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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