My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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