Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
