Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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