so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
