I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
