I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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