oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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