Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
