I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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