So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
