Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
