She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My legs feel like baby dolphins
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
