"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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