Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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