Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
