How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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