Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
