thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
