I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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