brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
