we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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