ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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