Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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