I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The air was thick with penises
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
