Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
