the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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