who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize