You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I want is dick and wine.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
