Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
