Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
