worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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