so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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