Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize