I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
